Why Comparisons Can Be a Downer:
What is a psychology of comparison?
When parents compare children to siblings or other children; children develop inferiority complex. Low self-esteem and a belief, ‘I am not good enough.’ It messes up with the way they feel about themselves; which destroys their life in some way. From the time we’re kids, we’re told to be like this or that, and it sticks with us. We, in turn also become the same, judge people, and compare our own kids too.
Constantly comparing ourselves to others can make us undervalue ourselves, not respect enough. We start seeking approval from outside sources, and that’s a recipe for feeling inadequate.
Each of us is unique, with our own set of strengths and weaknesses. But when we focus on other people’s strengths, it’s like we’re putting our own uniqueness down. We’re basically insulting our own awesomeness.
Comparisons often lead us to chase perfection, which, let’s be real, doesn’t exist. We end up trying to be someone we’re not and get frustrated when we can’t reach that impossible standard.
Turning Comparisons into Something Good!
Now, here’s the good news: Comparisons aren’t all bad. In fact, they can be a real kick in the pants to motivate us and help us grow. Let’s chat about how to flip the script and use comparisons as fuel for positive change.
First things first, let’s celebrate our uniqueness. Recognize that every person has their own story, talents, and quirks that make them special. Instead of comparing, let’s appreciate what makes us, well, ‘US’.
Instead of feeling down when you see someone doing great in something you admire, let it motivate you. Take that envy and turn it into a drive to improve yourself. It’s like a friendly competition with yourself.
When it comes to things like wealth or success, comparing can be a good thing if you do it right. Instead of just looking at the fancy stuff, focus on the qualities and skills that got them there. Use that as a blueprint to create your own path to success.
A lot of our tendency to compare comes from early conditioning, like from parents, teachers, or society. To break free from this cycle, we’ve got to recognize where it comes from and actively work on changing our mindset.
In education, how teachers compare students can have a big impact. Instead of always pointing out weaknesses, teachers should nurture each student’s unique strengths. Encouraging students to learn from successful peers can promote healthy competition and personal growth.
Psychology research shows that focusing on your strengths is way more effective than dwelling on your weaknesses. When you put your energy into what you’re good at, not only do you grow personally, but you also contribute your best to the world.
Time for an Attitude Adjustment
Changing how we deal with comparisons is like taking on a new mindset, and it’s pretty darn empowering. Here are some steps to kickstart your journey:
Start by thinking about when and why you compare yourself to others. The first step to making a change is recognizing your own habits.
Remind yourself that you’re one-of-a-kind, and that’s a beautiful thing. Those quirks and talents you have are what make you awesome.
Instead of feeling down when you see someone doing well, let it inspire you. Use it as motivation to become an even better version of yourself.
Recognize that a lot of our habit to compare comes from early influences. Challenge those old ways of thinking and replace them with more positive, self-affirming beliefs.
Invest your time and energy in what you’re good at. It’s not about ignoring weaknesses but building on your strengths to become the best version of yourself.
So, there you have it, a real talk about comparisons. Let’s embrace our uniqueness, turn comparisons into motivation, and grow into the awesome individuals we were meant to be.
With a therapeutic approach such as – Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy (REBT) one should start changing Emotional habits in daily life.
If you or your loved one is facing emotional dilemmas or troubles then you can take the help of a Professional Mental Health Therapist or alternatively, you can Contact Dr. Sharmila Dhobale. Dr. Sharmila Dhobale is a Senior Psychologist and Psychotherapist from Mumbai who provides Online and Offline therapy sessions in Mumbai – Goregaon, suitable for patients after consulting patients.
Book Appointment session with Dr Sharmila Dhobale for Psychotherapy.
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