Family Constellation Therapy

Family Constellation Constegreesion Therapist in Mumbai - Dr Sharmila Dhobale

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What is Family and Systemic Constellation ?

We all carry our innate sense of identity, our individuality. Our programming, and our personality of who we are is so different for everyone. That’s our identity. We acquire this identity once we are born. The act of being born converts us from unlimited entity as a soul to extremely limited identity as a human being.

The framework of being in the body contains one’s understanding, energy and space. It’s hugely influenced by something that is bigger than us are systems that we belong to. We have no identity without the systems that we belong to. So, what gives us an identity is a structure bigger than us. It has all the authority and tools to give us a brand, an identity.

Lineage and Family, parents, religion, culture, sense of the divine, karma, and destiny are much bigger than us. It has a profound influence on who we are and we can’t change any of it. That’s our Spiritual Identity. With this identity comes sense of beliefs, values and self-definition. Some of these are rational but some of them are pathetic, irrational. We have to survive with them all throughout the life.

It’s not always pleasant, so we all develop strategies or competencies to live life based on who believe we are. These are our defense mechanisms, our adaptation behaviour. These strategies and competencies design our behaviour and so the environment around us.

All the systems that we belong to has huge impact on us, either positively or negatively, due to an innate need of sense of belonging in humans, some unconscious gratitude and love toward them

Family Constellation therapist in Mumbai
Family Constellation therapist in Mumbai

Real life examples:

For e.g. 

  • In mostly patriarchal families in India, if 3 girls are born while waiting for son. The third girl will just grow up without much attention of family members, wearing elder sister’s passed on clothes. She grows up feeling insignificant. She may develop the belief system that ‘I am insignificant; I am not wanted. I am not loved.’ She may develop the strategies to get away from the voice in her head echoing all the time that she is insignificant and not loved.

So, her coping strategy may be to stay aloof, love her own space, and avoid social gatherings. She will go into a shell, and become introvert. The environment also validates her belief, in a way no one will invite her. This loop of the vicious circle goes on and on.

  • e.g 2. Family Impact and Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar disorder comes from bipolar parenting. Disciplined and strict mother – Child decides I’ll not be like that to my children- so gives so much of freedom that they get ruined. So, one gets ruined with completely controlling upbringing and he/she ruins child by going all over the place. Child then blames parent that if there would have been at least some discipline.

When the child sees something that doesn’t work, he will either duplicate it or go fully opposite, then realizes that it doesn’t work either because its tail is stuck in opposite. Every behaviour in the family is contextual. When we duplicate or go the other way, we don’t have the context. That’s why it doesn’t work.

Also if both the parent is extremely opposite in their nature and behaviours; child is confused because child is learning through observing parents in the childhood.

If any parent shows conflicting, completely opposite behavior all the time, child doesn’t understand what’s the true behavior and gets confused. For example: Mother talks sweetly to her MIL but as soon as she turns her back; mother starts criticizing her. Child is confused about what’s real behavior.

So, one needs to find the right balance with awareness, presence to take decisions independent of past programming and to acquire quality of equanimity.

Bipolar Disorder Mental disease - Mood sings by lady

Dr Sharmila Dhobale is a Qualified Family and Systemic Constellation Therapist Facilitator and Trainer in Mumbai, learnt with various masters and developed her own way to facilitate in Mumbai from Quantum Life University, Hyderabad.

She is also a Qualified NLP, REBT, Gestalt, Transpersonal Regression, and Inner Child Work Therapist in Mumbai. She is also a Clinical hypnotherapist in Mumbai. She has been conducting workshops on various subjects of her forte since 30 years in the corporate, educational and public sectors addressing their physical, mental, and emotional issues. She incorporates all the knowledge and experience of diverse fields and the scientific approach of Spirituality and Metaphysics for the benefit of her client’s lives’ while creating stability and astonishing growth.

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Origin of Family Constellation Therapy:

Bert Hellinger, the founder of this work from Germany, who studied and treated families for more than 50 years, observed that many of us unconsciously “take on- carry” destructive familial patterns of failures, anxiety, depression, anger, guilt, aloneness, alcoholism and even illness as a way of “belonging in our families”, which is a sort of blind love. Bonded by a deep love, a child will often unconsciously sacrifice his own best interests in a vain attempt to ease the suffering of a parent or other family member. It is the Unconscious legacy but disrupts life of that family member in many ways.

Younger generations subconsciously try to bring Homeostasis to the family which may result in patterns which are not healthy and do not belong to them.

  • Accidents,
  • Suicides,
  • Killing and murders,
  • Leaving the house or
  • boycotting a person for whatever reasons,
  • Property disputes,
  • Cheating,
  • Untimely and unnatural deaths,
  • Miscarriages,
  • Abortions, still born,
  • Emotionally charged events and suffering patterns,
  • Secrets,
  • Hereditary diseases, etc.

continue to disrupt lives of family members.

Constellation is the unique placement of stars in the sky. Similarly, every system, every family has a unique placement of members organized tightly within the system Family Constellation supposedly attempts to reveal these previously unrecognized systemic dynamics that can span multiple generations in a given family and helps to resolve these effects of that dynamic by encouraging the subject to accept the factual reality of the past.

How Family Constellation Therapy helps you:

Family Constellation is a modality to resolve issues- whether:

It can be a group process or one to one session. It is also a trans-generational healing that has the power to shift generations of suffering and unhappiness.

Family Constellations helps us to break these patterns of entanglements, carried over generations so that we can live healthier, happier, more fulfilled lives. It helps clear away blocks and restores the flow of love in your family, across generations. It frees you and your children from invisible burdens carried in order to belong in a family, across generations. It helps resolve conflicts within self and in relationships. Through this process, in a moment of insight, a new life course can be set in motion.

All unresolved and stuck areas of relationships, money, work, career, multigenerational-hereditary issues, and health problems are worked upon with Family Constellation. It gives an energetic skeleton of our issues which brings up hidden dynamics of all aspects into open and generates movement towards harmony.

The results can be very transformative. It transforms your relationship with your family, work, health, money, life and much more, by uncovering and dissolving the blockages affecting them. It gives us an insight and helps us in making healthier and appropriate choices

Process of Family Constellation/ Systemic Constellation Therapy

A session of Family Constellation is carried out by a Dr Sharmila Dhobale Facilitator for a client who comes with an issue. A client chooses a representative person for the self and places him/her in the central place intuitively, which is called ‘All Knowing Field’. He/she also chooses other personalities in the family (whoever has a significance related to an issue)

Also, abstract things connected to an issue, for example: money, success, happiness, confidence, support, resource, wisdom, life, death etc and place them in the field. Each of them reveals the connection to a client, in a way shows the dynamics. Light is shed on the dysfunctional aspects of the family unit. In a startlingly real way, the family dynamic is accurately depicted and is often recognized by the members of the family for the first time. Then movements of all these characters take place towards resolution with the help of a facilitator.

Every person placed in the ‘All Knowing Field’ in spite of not knowing anything about the personality they represent, feels and acts the same way as the client’s that particular family member does.

Family Constellation therapy

 This sheds light on specific emotions and relational aspects that have clear implications for the issue at hand. At higher level all human beings are connected. They are all one and a constellation session reflects that. At the end, a representative is replaced by the client to experience the shift that was created by a session.

What to Expect from Family Constellation Therapy?

Throughout your entire life, you maintain an emotional and energetic connection to your family, regardless of how physically distant you may be from them. This approach creates a very powerful and moving experience. Each member of a family, whether adult or child, longs to feel significant and find their place within family construct.

Family Constellation sessions help amazingly towards resolution of any issue one has in life. It helps you connect with the family in a healthy which is strength and at the same time it helps you to gain back freedom to choose your own life!

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